$cat > /etc/apt/apt.conf.d/01norecommend << EOF
APT::Install-Recommends "0";
APT::Install-Suggests "0";
EOF

check with:

$apt-config dump | grep Recommends

$sudo apt install libxfce4ui-utils thunar xfce4-appfinder xfce4-panel xfce4-session xfce4-settings xfce4-terminal xfconf xfdesktop4 xfwm4 --no-install-recommends

even more minimal:
$sudo apt install libxfce4ui-utils thunar xfce4-panel xfce4-session xfce4-settings xfce4-terminal xfconf xfwm4 --no-install-recommends

Some more really crucial in desktop

$sudo apt install thunar-volman gvfs librsvg2-common --no-install-recommends

$sudo apt install xserver-xorg-core xserver-xorg-video-intel xserver-xorg-input-evdev x11-xserver-utils x11-xkb-utils x11-utils xinit --no-install-recommends

after installing DE or WM add something to .xinitrc like

exec startxfce4

or

exec jwm

and then:

$startx